Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Sound Trippin': Ours

Elevator buttons and morning air
Strangers' silence makes me wanna take the stairs
If you were here, we'd laugh about their vacant stares
But right now, my time is theirs

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me
Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles
But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine

And you'll say don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

And it's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong
And your hands are tough but they are where mine belong in
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth
And I love the riddles that you speak
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored
'Cause my heart is yours

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard

Don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
But they can't take what's ours, they can't take what's ours

The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

(Advanced) Happy Birthday, Insights!

I'm not good with remembering dates so I'm writing this now while it's still in my head, because if I hold off this post to May 6... I might never get to write it and miss another bloggiversary.



Woohoo! You are (unofficially) two years old! Eww. In blog-years, that's nearing mid-life crisis... like 30 or something.

Wait... I'm 30...

Hennyhoo! So, you're two and here's lookin' at you! Still hodge podge. Still a publicly available online journal of your writer (moi!). And still as crazy and inane as that very first entry, "Funny Thing About Shit, Only Good Things Grow Out Of It."

And I wouldn't change you one bit!

May we see each other thru the successes and failures of our lifetime, and cheers to more human years with ya!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Hunger Games

Finally... I've found time to write my thoughts on the ever-in-no-one's-favor movie, The Hunger Games.

Why now? Because I've got my computer on, I'm waiting idly by for something work-related to be done, and I can't think of a more productive way of passing the time besides bloggin' mi thoughts away.

So, on to the insights!

First of, let me explain that I was not as obsessed with The Hunger Games trilogy as I was with ... The Bartimaeus Trilogy of Jonathan Stroud, The Mistborn Trilogy of Brandon Sanderson, The Harry Potter Series... heck I was admittedly more manic over Twilight.

By obsessed I mean I was not scouring the net for anything HG related after reading Book 1. (After I read Twilight, I got on Google, types Twilight+Stephenie Meyer and found Within the next few hours, I read ALL (and I mean ALL) of the outtakes posted on the site. Including Midnight Sun. I mean that kind of obsessed.) I didn't really feel the need to go digging for more information on the series. Probably because I already had books 2 and 3 with me, waiting to be read, but I also I think because the story is fairly straight forward.

Iron-fist rulers keep minions in line thru slavery and savagery. It's the dictator's dream come true: be so powerful that whatever you say, even when its as insane as "send me your kids to die," is set in stone. Given a few years of conditioning, the reasons behind the insanity blur out to become the accepted truth. It's like that cartoon of the monkeys, the ladder and the bananas. Simple enough really, even hits home on some aspects of modern day society. However, instead of beatings, what's been accepted is an annual massacre of children.

I guess that's where some non-readers got confused. It was the question I encountered the most: "Why in the world were they doing that?"

Besides to keep citizens in line... hunny, the movie came from a scifi fantasy novel. If it didn't start with the premise of murderous children, it wouldn't be different from any other Tom, Dick and Vampire Diaries. That's why.

So anyway... the movie. Let's start with the things I disliked (my blog, my voice):
1) Too long! Went in the cinema at 3:30. Came out at 6?!?! Where have all my afternoon gone!? My butt was aching by the time Foxface killed herself by eating the nightlock Peeta set aside.

2) Unclear backstory of how Katniss became the survivor that she is, even before she entered the arena. The struggles she went thru with the passing of her dad, the depression of her mom, and her "utang-na-loob" to Peeta. For me, that "utang-na-loob" (what the heck is it in English?!?!) (It's not gratitude. It's deeper than that. There should be this tinge of embarrassment somewhere...) was one of the main things that drove Katniss to be the best bet to win the 74th season of The Hunger Games.

3) Missing Madge. The mayor's quiet daughter, whom Katniss thought of as a true friend despite them barely having said anything to each other... Madge gave the Mockingjay pin to Katniss. I'm not sure why exactly this is important to me, but I find it deeply symbolic that the inspiration to topple a tyrannical government came from somewhere within it.

4) Rue's murder not bloody enough. And the spear (in my head) came from behind, while rue was still in the net. I just think that could've made her death more dramatic. Then again, i was crying enough with how it was made so I guess its fine.

5) No cabin in the woods with the lake. Nothing to represent escape... from District 12, from the games, from the soon to be revealed District 13... oops... have I said too much?

Then again, there were things I did like:
1) The concentration camp-esque feel of The Reaping. It was exactly how I pictured it in my head. Besides being a starkly compelling contrast to The Capitol's crazy-colors, the greys, browns and blues of the girls' dresses, and the boys' slicked-to-the-side hairstyles just compounded the dreariness of the situation. Therefore, adding only more drama to the three-fingered salute Katniss received when she got on stage instead of her sister. I was teary-eyed in this scene.

2) Seneca Crane's character development. The head of it all. Game master. He thought of every single evil thing in the games, but all with this twisted mentality of "it's only entertainment." Because, stupidly, that's really how the citizen of The Capitol saw the games. It was their annual season of Survivor: reality TV completely detached from reality. Seneca's character in the book was hardly touched. In fact, I was thinking they'd bring up Plutarch Heavensbee, since he's a key character in books 2 and 3. Was wondering where the punchbowl was when Katniss shot the arrow through the apple. The other part of Seneca that I appreciated was his connectedness with President Snow. How, despite being head of the 74th season of The Hunger Games, President Snow still controlled him as the neck of the entire operation. Kudos. Too bad he's dead. That development would've been a wonderful addition to the Rebellion.

Those are the things I can think of for now.

Overall, it was still a good movie. Hopefully though, Books 2 & 3 will be slightly shorter... but chances of that happening are slim to none.

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Me I Wanna Be (Online)

I am choosing today to be a slow work day. Since it's a slow work day, I shall be a-writing one more entry before I call it tonight (to the strangers stumbling in here... that's "before I call it a night" said in very broken-English).

So, slow work day started at about 12nn today. (I wasn't unproductive, work-wise, the entire day.) And it started with visiting my ever favorite photographer/baker/mother/sweet-tooth blogger, Sweetapolita! Sweetapolita isn't her real name. It's Polita. No. Pulling your leg. It's Rosie. ANYWAY, Rosie's my go-to gal when I need quick pick-me-uppers because the pictures of her baked (and sometimes no-bake) goodies are certified as upper, hyper-inducing drugs! They bring absolute joy to the desolate soul and her step-by-step guide on how to recreate them for your own gives hope that maybe someday, I can create something that's just as beautiful, and lovely, and sumptuous, and delectable...

ANYWAY AGAIN, Rosie's latest blog entry featured not food this time but another foodie blogger who just released her 2nd cookbook. Of course, anything referred by Rosie must be impeccable so off I go to the links provided. The Pioneer Woman is a website on making fantastic food. Like the Sweetapolita site, Ree's recipes are filled with step-by-step how-to pictures that make you wanna be a cook! Unlike Sweetapolita, she's not focused on one part of the meal menu... she tackles them all!!!

Appetizer... check.
Soup and salad... check.
Pasta... check!
Entre... check!!
And dessert... CHECK!

She even has a recipe for iced coffee concentrate!

What I love (yes, LOVE) about her site is how she's done her index of recipes. While others would be listing their recipes down alphabetically or categorically... she used pictures. Like what you see? Click and find out how to make it! Easy as pie! (Where the heck did that saying come from? Whoever made that up apparently never made pie before.)

But what I love best is how easy I can read her personality in the way she writes her entries. It's as if she's talking to a dear old friend on the phone and telling her, without capping the insanity, about these new amazing food things she's tried recently. I find her so casual yet so smart at the same time.

And it got me thinking... This is how I exactly want to be online. I want my entries to be short (WOW. Talaga lang ah!) and sweet and smart (Dear Lord, am I asking for too much?) and funny and witty... I want my entries to be a complete reflection of... me. That when I die and my friends miss me terribly, all they need to do is backtrack my blog entries and laugh out loud as they read through my strangeness.

Then again, reviewing this particular entry now... I think I already do read like me in real life. This already is the me I want to be online. Hmmm...

I guess I better get to work on that Visual Index.

Cheers to L-O-V-E!

This post will be about celebrating the icky love stuff. So pardon the stickiness of everything.
Found out that one of my oldest, dearest friends in the world is now engaged to the love of her life! It was an Easter proposal, so apt to the new life they'll be starting together soon, and I am absolutely thrilled and giddy with happiness for her.

J and H met when H, this wittle white boy from Germany, decided to take his med school internship (or something) here in the Philippines. He wanted to be exposed in the dangerous diseases and uber strange cases found only in 3rd world government hospitals... like the ipis in the ears... GROSS! (Apparently, ipis-in-ears don't happen to citizens of 1st world countries. They only pretend to have cases like these in hospital dramas like House.) Anyway... J also happened to be taking her internship (or whatever) in the very same government hospital H was assigned to.

H, being Alemanyan and all, wasn't really that great in expressing himself linguistically when he was here. His English was... erm, to put it kindly... bad... And of course his Tagalog was zilch! Yet, despite the language barrier, when he met J... I guess it was like love crossed the bridges speech couldn't. He was hooked, line and sinker to this beautiful, amazing braniac who rocked the drab white lab coat as if it were a gown on the red carpet. (Loyalty... CHECK!)

At first, I didn't get it. Really. I mean, here were two people, from near total opposite sides of the world with practically nothing in common other than their chosen field of profession, saying they're madly in love with each other. I didn't understand at first, that when it comes to loving someone... when you know you truly love someone and truly want to be with them... no amount of nosebleeding matters. And X to the nothing in common part. These two are travel bugs! They've scoured nearly all the beach spots of the Philippines, and ransacked every other castle in Germany and the nearby countries.

I'm extremely happy for these two, and excited to see what happens next in the love story of their lives. Although this entry is my official vote for the wedding to happen here in the Philippines (SA PILIPINAS ANG KASAAAAAAAAAL!) really, wherever it'll be, I'll be there. :)

Congratulations J and H, and here's to the start of something awesome! :)

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Animal Cruelty

There are few things that get me emotionally... blindingly... angry.

And cruelty to animals is one of them. Blame it on parents who brought me up to love the other species of the planet. Blame it on the instability of the hormonal female. Blame it on too much Animal Planet. But I seriously do not consider human those who, in their God-given freewill, choose to be hurtful, violent, viscous and brutal to those weaker than they are.

Over the turn of the year, news broke of street children who stuffed lit firecrackers in a dog's mouth and rubberbanded it shut. What do you think happened? WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK HAPPENED? Of course the lit firecrackers blew up in the dog's face, wracking it to pieces. The dog survived the ordeal, but its now snout-less, blind and completely debilitated.

A few months later, a bust was made on this dog-fighting gambling operation somewhere down south. As thankful as I am for the capture of the criminals and the release of the rescued Pitbulls, nearly a hundred dogs still had to be put down due to disease and other disabilities. Nearly a hundred. Lives. Snuffed out because of greed, heartlessness and this idiotic mentality that as homo sapien sapien, we can do whatever the hell we want.

This morning, while stuck in traffic, the Crosswind in front of our car had a small, tightly bound plastic bag hanging from its bumper. The bag ripped and out came the back limbs of a kitten. THE KITTEN WAS IN A PLASTIC BAG HANGING FROM THE BACK OF A VAN.  Mama and I were stunned. We were both dumbfounded by the inhumanity in front of us. Then the little legs kicked.

I swear to you the next moments flew by like nothing else. I told Mama, "Bababa ako." (I'm going down) and ran out of our car. Didn't even bother knocking on the Crosswind's window to stop it from moving. All I knew was I had to get the bag off the car and the kitten out of it. Don't even remember crossing the rest of the street to get to the shaded roadside. I was just suddenly there, cooing to the kitten as it fought for its life, cooing it's going to be okay.

I got it out of the bag. It was mewing constantly , but was able to take a few tentative steps away from me. I don't blame the mistrust.

I had to leave it on there, traffic was already moving and Mama was honking for me to get back. Only realized how badly I was shaking when I got back in the car. Then the tears came. And just kept coming.

Human are gifted with the ability to love. To care. To be compassionate. Human beings know innately what pain is, what will hurt the self and what will hurt others. Human beings know, that when you hold a firecracker, you will likely get hurt. That's the risk some choose to take. Human beings know that when confined in a small space for a long period of time, sleeping and eating among your own waste, you will get sick. That's why we keep clean. Human beings know, that when you put a plastic bag over your head, you will suffocate and die. That's why we don't.

But to subject something else that's alive... that breathes just like you... that bleeds just like you... that does not like pain as much as you don't... to be cruel... is inhuman.

The things who did that to the dog don't deserve to be called children. They're monsters.

To jail the captured dog fighting operators criminals would not be enough. They should be locked in to sleep, eat and live in their own waste for a near hundred years.

Whoever put that tiny kitten in that plastic bag while it was still alive is a demon. Don't you dare disgrace the Lord by saying THAT is in His image and likeness.

Few things... very few things... get me completely, unreasonably, uncontrollably angry. And animal cruelty is one of them. Pray I don't catch you being hurtful to so much as a mouse.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sunday, April 1, 2012

My turn to say no.

It's this strange disease some people just seem to have. We look at pictures, read old messages, listen to songs that just remind us of a painful past; put ourselves in stupid, idiotic situations that turn into unimaginable messes; give every bit of our heart and soul to those who think nothing of the matter, and watch helplessly as they're trampled and torn to pieces every single f-ing time.

I think I can now honestly say, I've had enough. A great friend told me on my birthday, sometimes the Universe throws the total curve ball, not to say "This is all I've got for you", rather to show you just how much you've grown and can take the challenge of it.

I wrote this post on the weekend of my birthday. I didn't have the guts to publish it because I know doing so would finally close that part of my life that was wretched open by the curve ball. I guess I was trying to fool myself into thinking that was all I deserved, because its what I only had the time and energy for.

But certain turns of events... certain pictures, certain songs... certain happiness, and sadness, in other people's lives... can radically, overnight really, shift outlooks in life.


So, to you who will never read this.

You may think that not much thinking can be done in a few days but apparently changing decades can lead to entire afternoons of deep thought. And mine have led to one: Goodbye.

You told me once that its best to nip things in the bud. I thought it was your easy way out. No. I'm sure it was. And you were right. Because nipping this in the bud is more convenient, the smarter move to make and frankly just the right thing... for me.

Convenient because it lessens the hassles of heartbreak. You know how I feel about you and you play me like a fiddle. Each moment spent together just makes things more complicated and it has to stop. Because whatever fucked up math I make, I know this roller coaster ride will end with me in tears. And it will be, what, another 3 or 4 months before I gather back all my pieces. So I might as well end things now, and start picking up the few chunks that have fallen away. The easier to glue me back together with.

The smarter move to make because we both know we're no good for each other so this is the better option. I've already fought for you once. Actually... I've already started the fight again. With my friends. In my mind. And I'm tired. We both know I'm not the one with the brains in this operation so the less I think, the better off I will be. Besides that... I don't know why else this the smart move to make.

Oh wait. I do. Because its the right thing for me.

I deserve more. I deserve someone who will love me. And I mean really love me. Someone who will make the effort to see me. Who will respect me.Who will want to meet my family. Want to get along with my friends. And spend time with my dogs because he knows they make me happy. Who will introduce me to his family and his friends. He will listen the way I listen. Won't make fun of me when I get dumb, because let's be honest, I am most of the time. But despite the stupidity, he will take me seriously when I start getting serious.

I deserve someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with you.

Blame it on that song of Mr. A-Z. It's been in my head all weekend...

When you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting

No more. I give up on the dream that could be us because I know, in my gut, it's never happening. You don't need me the way I need you. I'm nothing more than a nuisance in your life and it'll be only a matter of time before you dispose of me. So before you get there... I dispose of you. I give up because the deep thought has brought me the realization that if I stick around, I'll only destroy whatever semblance of self and strength and pride I have left in me by trying to fight and prove I deserve you to love me back. You'll never love me back.

It's not your fault. I came to you. And I'm sorry for restarting this whole shit.

I'm crazy. But I know this is the right thing to do. My turn to say no. And really... goodbye.


I'm glad I chose to do this now. I think I'm stronger, older... more tired but slightly more wise to know, really, I don't think I'll be crying.

I think I'm finally over it. :)